im not sure exactly what im supposed to be....i mean i do things ...lots of things....things that may make me "cool" to some of you and others that probably dont...are we defined by what we do...seems that way...i like doing everything and want to do/experience everything i can in this life...like writing things like this..so random fuckin strangers can either say im crazy or loveable smart or stupid or well what ever they want really...hopefully you random strangers have at least considered and contemplated stuff....one clone of a man with my own personal options thoughts.."one of a kind" oh what a marvel wouldnt you say only a billion or so more just like me in almost all ways except not.....have you ever...well....i mean......i sometimes think to myself im the first to drive down the street in my big van with a blue t-shirt on and chuck taylors on my feet smoking a brand new du maurier thinking about my friend who told me he used to sing back up for paul anka all the while worried as fuck about everything going on around me like money and my mom my sisters my brother my nieces and nephews and why did my dad have to die and why does anyone die or why does anyone live and will i ever really love like i did that one time and why is george bush running the free world, and why are "grown ups" liars and have i fed the fish...why do i even have fish.....im pretty sure that although im just like everybody else physically (you know what i mean) everything counts! every thought every word that i say or someone says makes us different and maybe just maybe theres a pin hole of light out there that i can stick my finger into it when it i see it and pull the it wide open (the blackness that is) and expose whats behind this mystery...yeah i know im dreaming right now youre saying either that or you think im fucking crazy...both are probably true but its my life and if this is what i think or even have somehow concocted these thoughts then...maybe....just maybe i can...i dont want to live a life unexplored and want answers i want expansion i want the truth...no i just want to think freely and play like ace freely(i think thats how you spell his name)or something i dont know , you know ? this is living...i think